December 2011
132 posts
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And you know what never* gets old?
Dirty diaper defenestrations from apartment buildings.
*By “never” I mean “always.”
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I don’t know what it says about us as a society when the line to get into the Kardashians’ store in SoHo wraps around the block. But I know it can’t be good.
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Boxing Day Sale!
10% off store-wide with coupon code BOX11!
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Airing of Grievances
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir is highly overrated.
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Airing of Grievances
This one paralegal in my office is a raging sexist, but he keeps getting the biggest bonuses and raises of all our paralegals because the senior board members, who are the final arbiters of his compensation, enjoy being the beneficiaries of his sexism.
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Airing of Grievances
We don’t have Platinum status on Delta this year, so we’ll have to get to the airport very, very early and wait on the very long line with the the proletariat tomorrow.
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Airing of Grievances
When I was in high school, I was in this ten-girl handbell choir that would do non-stop holiday concerts the entire month of December. No, seriously. As a result, I know the words to virtually every Christmas song, including the medieval French ones. The experience rendered me completely unable to enjoy any Christmas music, with the exception of anything by Nat King Cole and Rachmaninov’s...
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I Gave a Shit Ton of Chocolates to My...
…instead of eating them all myself.
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@maritsa-met
Right! It’s the “secular” paper. But according to one of my neighbors, the Deseret News has an independent editorial board, and their slant tends to be less churchy than the Salt Lake Tribune.
All I know for sure is: I’m unelectable.
maritsa-met replied to your post: Well, that’s discouraging.
And that’s not even the Mormon paper, right?
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Well, that's discouraging.
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[Insert Disappointed .gif Here]
A cafe named after and sponsored by a BigLaw firm, in the law quad?
Not that there’s any love lost between me and my law school, but this feels like the time they put a Starbucks inside the Forbidden City.
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And also this
I really can’t wait for some big dumps of fresh powder, for selfish reasons as well as for the tourists and their totally awesome ski vacations.
I am very, very eager for a Working Class Hero sighting.
The Working Class Hero is originally from New York or New Jersey. He skis in jeans and a brilliant green, snap-up-front satin Jets jacket, frequently with rear-entry boots and straight...
Also
Soon enough I’m going back to civilization and my normal time zone for a week, and I’m going to be giving all of you bishes some imaginary high-fives on my way as I cross the country.
Apparently I'm Not in a Total Shit Mood
This is the time of year when all the tourists come to my small mountain town for their totally awesome ski vacations.
Not coincidentally, this is also the time of year when I’m usually crabby because (1) you can’t go to a restaurant and get seated in less than 90 minutes anymore and (2) the tourist season menus come out of storage, so suddenly everything costs twice as much as...
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And when I tell you I have died and gone to...
You will know I am talking about lunch. For theirs is the best feta in northern Utah.
(Less so the tzatziki.)
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If I were the kind of person to start sentences...
I’d tell husband-san, “If you really loved me, you’d make me these cilantro jalapeno latkes tonight.”
I think about a lot of weird stuff on the way into...
thisismymonkey:
Today, it was music. I saw something earlier that said “Even Jesus hates creed” (h/t hauntedhalls). I kind of laughed and moved on, but on the way into work, I was thinking about it because my mind likes to go places.
Actually, I think Jesus WOULD like Creed. He would also like Jack Johnson and Dave Matthews. And I think his guilty pleasure would be Kanye.
Jesus is totally...
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@hijabeng →
wailingbeansidhe:
Sorry! I have a problem lately. I have gone crazy on London Blue, as you can tell from my inventory. But I’ve gotten so busy with holiday orders, I haven’t made any new pieces for a few weeks, so my queue is about to run dry. So, no new temptations for a while?
Deal!
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@hijabeng
Sorry! I have a problem lately. I have gone crazy on London Blue, as you can tell from my inventory. But I’ve gotten so busy with holiday orders, I haven’t made any new pieces for a few weeks, so my queue is about to run dry. So, no new temptations for a while?
hijabeng replied to your photo: I made this. Large, flawless London Blue Topaz on…
OHMYGOSH HOMEGURL. stop posting...
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@theraconteurasaurus
Yes! And I love it!
theraconteurasaurus replied to your video: And here’s some Petipa for you. And Nureyev. …
Did you start the McCann novel?!
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So, if Richard Hammond has a Blast Lab and James...
neon-loneliness:
josiehogan:
A Keep Thatcher Bionically Alive Forever Lab?
several black Labs and his wife has a couple of horses, I think.
A Land Rover Lab, actually. She’s excellent in the mud.
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P.S.
Lawyer friends, please tell me I’m not the only one who gets filings from opposing counsel that are so ridiculous I’m tempted to write “WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK?!” in the caption instead of “OPPOSITION TO MOTION FOR SUMMARY JUDGMENT” or some such.
Is it just me? Is it Utah?
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Gentile* Problems
I just got the most ridiculous, harrassing motion hand-delivered from opposing counsel. (Which is great! Because I was worried I wouldn’t have to spend the entire weekend working for the first time since Thanksgiving!)
I usually forward things like this to my clients with some commentary. But the only appropriate commentary for this is something along the lines of, “Oh for the fuck...
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Best Amazon Review Ever
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How Do You Press Conference? →
Ron Ron Metta shows you how to answer the question you want to answer, not the question you were asked.
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Comparisons
Hard: Going back to work after a long weekend.
Harder: Going back to work after no weekend.
Hardest: Going back into this compensation committee meeting without the aid of alcohol.
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@theraconteurasaurus
Undeniably.
theraconteurasaurus replied to your post: What I Think About Michelle Dockery
But so, so, so incredibly lovely… So, so, so…